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Monday, January 26, 2004

Welcome to McReadie Nuggets

It's the blog of a bored office worker who has realised the Internet is an ideal place to vent a spleen without fear of retribution.

Greetings, bored web surfer! Prepare to have your boredom vanish! You have stumbled across the ramblings of McReadie! (PLEASE NOTE: Your boredom will not vanish because anything I write is interesting. It will vanish because you will realise that, in comparison to me, you really ain't that bored at all.)

I have to admit, I'm making some big assumptions here. First off, I'm assuming that you're bored. I'm assuming that because I can't imagine there would be any other reason for you having wound up at McReadie Nuggets.

Of course, in months to come, when this uniquely modern work of literature has won the awards it and I so richly deserve, I will have to offer quite a different greeting. "Welcome, Surfer With Exquisite Taste" I will say. But, for the moment, I'm going to assume that you are bored and, possibly, lost. Either that, or you're a member of my family. In which case, I offer love along with my greeting. Fear not: I will remember all you early visitors when this whole thing explodes and I become famous. You were the little people who started it all. And I will be grateful for that.

I am your author, McReadie. 24 years of age. Living in London, England. Originally from Newbury, Berkshire, England. Born in Reading, Berkshire, England. Employed, but bored.

What do I do for a living, you ask? I work for a healthcare research company. We research healthcare. This is ironic, since having this job has caused me to lose my mental health. It's true. I am writing this under the influence. Of 40mg of Propranalol and 100mg of Sertraline (you may know it as Lustral.)

Now, don't let this scare you off. I assure you that, on a superficial level, I am functioning perfectly well. As you may remember, I am holding down a job at a healthcare research company. I get to write completely hypocritical pieces about how to stay mentally healthy.

I'm on the medication to try and curb my anxiety and obsessive compulsive disorder. Do you watch the TV show "Monk"? If so, think of me as being like the main character. Only less charming. Less cute. And less male. I also don't have a nurse to follow me round with anti-bacterial wipes (more's the pity, since it would save me a lot of time.)

You may have gathered from the reference to "Monk" that I am a TV fan. You would be right (you early visitors are so much more intelligent than the ones who just showed up when this blog became flavour of the month. Damn people who just go on word of mouth.)

I am a huge TV fan, in fact. Particularly of American TV. Current favourites include "24", "Curb your Enthusiasm", "Nip/Tuck", and several others which escape my mind for the moment (I am on medication, you know, and my memory goes from time to time.) Once I dearly loved "The West Wing", but then it got rubbish, and lost my love. Served the bloody thing right.

I have spent much of today digesting the results of the Golden Globes. My best friend and I had a competition to predict the winners. Predictably, he won our little challenge. 10-6. I was not too upset as I was expecting to be thrashed by a considerably larger margin than that.

I am pleased that "The Office" and Ricky Gervais won. Mr Gervais comes from my birthplace (and university town) of Reading and thus I have to support him. Other famous people to come from Reading? Kate Winslet (yes, I know she was in "Titanic", but we all make mistakes.) And me.

Ricky Gervais had a cult following when I was at university because, during his appearances on a certain TV show, he made constant references to Reading. Now he's made it big, I remember these days with nostalgia, and feel proud that I was there at the beginning (just like you will when I make it big.) For your information, the programme was "The 11 O'Clock Show", and it also featured Ali G (another famous person from Berkshire.)

So, this evening, I shall be proud to watch the Golden Globes and watch my fellow Reading-er accept two prizes. For reference, Reading is pronounced "Redding." I mention this because I assume that bored web surfers from all over the world will be visiting this site, and I don't want you to mispronounce the name when you spread the word about this masterful site. So it's "Redding", OK?

I was similarly pleased that "Lost in Translation" won a few awards. And "24". Though I hear that only the executive producers give an acceptance speech, despite the whole cast being on stage. Surely they should know that us "24" saddos want to hear from Kiefer Sutherland. That's Jack Bauer, for anyone who's not sure. And if you're really not sure, then I'm really not sure that this blog is the best place for you. It will discuss matters of importance such as these, and you'd better either get up to speed, or disappear. It's your choice.

Wait! Don't disappear! This thing has got no readers! We need you! I apologise!

Well, great. Chum FM has just stopped working. I listen to Chum FM to pass the working day. It's a radio station in Toronto, Canada. It's very good. Listen to it at www.chumfm.com. Don't try now, though. It's not working.

Now, as I'm a blog novice, I'm really not sure how one ends posts. Let me be honest: I do have more I could waffle on about but it seems I have gone on long enough already. And, furthermore, if this thing is to continue, then I better not exhaust my topics of conversation on Day One.

Farewell, then. Catch you tomorrow.

(I'm going to think of a better signoff, I promise. It just might take a little time.)

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