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Friday, September 03, 2004

Why Arnie Proved I'm No Republican

The current work crappiness has left me unable to blog much, and so unable to give a full explanation as to why Arnie proved I wasn't a Republican. I'm going to try and remedy that situation now but, remember, I'm in a fragile state, so if this post makes less sense that George Bush when trying to use words with more than one syllable, please don't tell me. Just tell me it's a work of great eloquence, and that I'm vastly undervalued in the sweatshop that is my company.

"If you believe that government should be accountable to the people, not the people to the government, then you are a Republican!"
I believe government should be accountable to the people, yes, but I also believe that people should be accountable to the government. Last time I checked, letting people wander around doing what the hell they liked didn't give us much freedom. Read Lord of the Flies, Arnie. You'll get what I'm saying.

"If you believe a person should be treated as an individual, not as a member of an interest group, then you are a Republican!"
OK, so explain to us why you Republicans love the NRA so much.

"If you believe your family knows how to spend your money better than the government does, then you are a Republican!"
Ever seen the number of loan adverts on TV? Fact: most people don't know how to manage their money properly. Look at how many people are in debt. And, honestly, I'd like to combine some of our money so that it can be spent on the welfare of us all - not just on ensuring that my family have a DVD player.

"If you believe our educational system should be held accountable for the progress of our children, then you are a Republican!"
Yeah, OK, who doesn't believe that? But schools aren't the only factor when it comes to the prospects of a child. Schools can all be great, but they won't do any good if a child comes to school unable to concentrate because they're beaten at home, and haven't had a decent meal. That's why Democrats like Roosevelt and Johnson built the welfare state and tried to eliminate poverty. Check it out some time, Arnie.

"If you believe this country, not the United Nations, is the best hope of democracy in the world, then you are a Republican!"
Yeah, only if by democracy you mean "invasion, occupation, and forced democracy".

"And, ladies and gentlemen, if you believe we must be fierce and relentless and terminate terrorism, then you are a Republican!"
Yes, you must be fierce and relentess. But try targeting the right people. Bin Laden. Remember him? Whereabouts is he now? Any idea?

"There is another way you can tell you're a Republican. You have faith in free enterprise, faith in the resourcefulness of the American people, and faith in the U.S. economy."
I try not to put faith in free enterprise. It leads to being governed by big business. I'd rather be governed by someone I'd elected. Yeah, the American people are resourceful, I'm sure, but should they have to use their resourcefulness to figure out how to pay for their own healthcare? Faith in the economy? Great Depression ring any bells?

Of course, I'm as liberal as they come. But thanks, Arnie, for the reminder that I'm right and that Republicans are bloody idiots.

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