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Sunday, October 03, 2004

24 Theory

We're getting lots of hits lately from fellow 24 looking for gossip on the show's fourth season. Devoted to my legions of readers, I am of course obliged to share the information I found in the copy of TV Guide I purchased on Friday.

The good guide says that the chemistry between Kiefer Sutherland and Kim Raver, the actress playing his love interest in the new season, was such that producers decided to shoot an impromptu love scene.

Now, as all good 24 fans know, any woman who dares to show affection to, or receive affection from, Jack Bauer is, frankly doomed. I have also noticed that the closer the relationship, the slower and more painful the death. Check it out - I of course would like to offer evidence in my case (must be the influence of Murder One).

Season 1
Love interest: Teri Bauer. Wife. Mother of Jack's children (the alive, stupid one, and the unborn, murdered one).
Affection level: High.
Fate: Kidnapped, raped, then murdered.

Season 2
Love interest: Kate Warner. Sister to evil terrorist.
Affection level: Reserved. Not all that much happens, but we sense it was meant to.
Fate: Tortured. Makes it to the end of the season alive, but makes only one brief appearance in season 3.

Season 3
Love interest: The wife of that drug bloke.
Affection level: Similar to Jack's love for heroin, it only lasts for a few episodes. They share a passionate kiss, and then she gets a bullet through her head.
Fate: Dead. About ten episodes in.

So, I think you can see the equation. Loves Jack = Dead. Higher the love, slower and more painful the death. So I think it's safe to say that this new love interest should plan for a very slow, very painful death. Enjoy!


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