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Tuesday, May 03, 2005

McReadie: No Longer In Therapy

So, yeah, therapy's over. I officially bid farewell to the dudes last Thursday.

I didn't post about it straight away because, to be honest, I was kinda upset after the last session. I didn't, as I had feared I might, burst into tears during the session. But I had a pretty good cry afterwards.

It was a very strange feeling, to be honest. On the one hand, I can look back after the past six months and be pleased about the progress I've made. On the other, the idea of having the support of therapy taken away, and no longer seeing the dudes, evoked sadness.

The session itself was strange too. On the one hand, it's just like any normal session. On the other, you know in the back of your mind that you're not going to be back there again, and that never again will you be able to sit and talk like this - be able to spill out all your worries, and get help to deal with those worries.

I think I've mentioned before the weirdness of the patient-therapist relationship. By the end of a course of therapy, your therapist knows a hell of a lot about you - and some stuff which you perhaps have told very few other people. And yet you know next to nothing about him or her. It's peculiar, and it meant that when one of my therapists shook my hand at the end of the last session, it felt sufficient and insufficient all at the same time.

Needless to say, I'm gonna miss the dudes. I was told that I could always get in touch if I have any problems and, if it came to it, that I could always get re-referred there. I know I could, and that's a comfort. But it doesn't change the fact that these sessions, which have been a big part of my life and which have made real changes in my life, are over. And that can bring a lump to the throat.

This post has been kind of meandering, hasn't it? Let's try and focus and to end on a positive. To anyone with OCD or any other condition for which Cognitive Behavioural Therapy is recommended - please, if you get the chance to have CBT, embrace it. I'm proof that it can make a real difference.


  • At 7:20 PM, Anonymous Jo said…

    Hiya, I tried to leave a comment the other day but blogger wouldn't let me for some reason :o( I just wanted to say that although I've not been reading your site for long I've learned a lot about OCD and CBT, and for that I thank you. I begin my own course of CBT next week, and although I'm not sure that CBT will help with my M.E/CFS, I think it'll do wonders for the panic attacks and OCD. You've given me hope, and I'm so pleased it's worked for you!


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