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Tuesday, November 01, 2005

McReadie: Competition Winner!

I never win anything. Well, OK, I won some prizes at school by virtue of being a geek, but I don't really count them. I'm talking about victories in competitions. Victories in competitions I do not do.

My brother does, though. Always has. My brother is, frankly, quite the jammy little sod. From his drawing appearing in the Care Bears club mailout when he was six, to his frequent victories on the Irish lottery, to the one hundred and fifty quid he won last week on Quiz Call - my brother is the family competition winner.

I, on the other hand, am the family competition loser who, despite constant losses, loves gambling - to the extent that it's the only thing I think I could become addicted. (I'm not counting junk food - I'm already addicted to that).

Today, though, the tables have fleetingly turned. Just forty five minutes ago, I won a competition!

Thanks to Capital FM, I should soon be the proud owner of a copy of the Extras DVD...

And - wait for it; this is the best part - it should be signed personally to me by the one and only Mr Ricky Gervais!

(Note the "should"s in my previous two sentences - I can't quite believe this is happening).

But, really, it's true! I answered the Podcast related question correctly - in fact, I already knew the answer cos I listen to the show fairly regularly - and included in my text a comment that I hoped would increase my chances ("I, like Mr Gervais, originally hail from Reading. I feel this makes me more deserving of a signed DVD, even though it clearly doesn't").

So I texted, and I waited. And waited. I began to think I'd misunderstood - maybe this was a competition that was lasting all week; clearly cutting my chances of winning. But, no, wait, Richard's about to announce the two winners! Two winners! That's one more than I thought! That increases my chances!

So my heart's thumping away, in the excited Maybe-I-Will-Win-This-Time-But-Idiot-You-Never-Win-Don't-Get-Your-Hopes-Up way in which it's beaten while awaiting the results of every competition I've ever entered from the Roland Rat traffic sign competition when I was about five, to the Streatham Redskins Ice Hockey Club prize draw, to my numerous money wasting attempts on the very same sort of quiz channel with which my brother won one hundred and fifty quid on the first attempt.

And then the usual happens - my name isn't read out. First winner? Jim from somewhere or other.

But wait, there's one more winner! And it's me! I've won!

I can, of course, barely believe it. My OCD rapidly kicks in, and I start to think that maybe there's someone else with my name in Tulse Hill who'd entered the competition. Or maybe I misheard. After all, I haven't eaten in hours, and competitions make me go a little wacky. I'm there, about to send a "Guess what I think I may have just won..." text to my family, when my phone rings. It's a lovely lady from Capital. I have won! I can't believe it! She probably finds my level of excitement both touching and a little freaky!

I tell you, there couldn't be a better competition in which to register my first win. I'm a long-time Gervais fan - in fact, the first post from this very blog proves it!

Needless to say, my day has officially been made. Probably my week, in fact. Perhaps even my year. Excited phone calls to parents and brother ensued immediately.

As I say, it all seems a little too good to be true. I'm now thinking - did I give the right address? Did I actually spell my name properly when I gave it to the lovely woman at Capital who wanted to ensure she had it down correctly so she could "ask Ricky" to personalise the DVD to me? And: here's one from my brother - "What if he signs the cellophane? How are you going to watch it?"

Enough of this rumination, though. It's time to enjoy victory! And to wonder whether a personalised autograph just means "To McReadie", or whether it also means, say, a reference to our shared birthplace as mentioned in my winning text. How cool would that be? Ricky, buddy of mine, if you're reading - and I think we know all comedians head straight to Nuggets for cutting edge humour - it would, to be clear, be very cool. I mean, c'mon, I even spend time fully explaning your shows to our friends on the other side of the Atlantic!


  • At 11:42 PM, Anonymous BB said…

    Hey not bad! I wouldn't have a clue about who's DVD you've won but congratulations. It feels great to win something.


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