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Thursday, February 23, 2006

New Year's Resolution Update

Thanks to all those of you who checked in and wished me well with my (daft) New Year's Resolution. And, Fizzwhizz, congrats on your gym routine - how's it going?

I thought it was time for an update on my progress (and time for a blog update in general - perhaps I should have made regular writing here my resolution instead).

So you know how all these "experts" tell you that eating more heathily will make you feel better? More energy? Mentally better? Physically better? Well, I can exclusively reveal something that my little two month experiment in more moderated eating has taught me:

Such claims are bullshit.

Do you know how I feel about my healthy eating? Miserable. My chocolate deprivation may well drive me over the edge. I am continuing to moderate my intake, and this is having clearly disastrous effects on my taste buds. Case in point: for Christmas, my Grandma very kindly bought me some chocolates. When I tasted said chocolates at Christmas, my expert opinion was that they were nice, but not exceptional.

Cut to a month or so later, and I decide to have one of these chocolates as part of my Weekend Choc Allowance. Guess what? This chocolate - previously felt by me to be average - has become one of the most glorious things I've ever tasted. It necessitated closing of eyes, and deep consideration of its magnificence. In short: my previously highly sensitive chocolate palette has been destroyed. Honestly, if you gave me some cheap confectionary product which made you vomit, chances are I'd sing its praises and declare it the most lovely food stuff on the face of the earth. What has happened to me?

Another lie pushed by these Healthy Eating Dudes is that eating more fruit and vegetables, and less junk food, will give you more energy. Lies. I feel sluggish. And somewhat depressed. You know why? Cos I'm miserable about not eating junk food! It's a vicious circle, I tells ya!

Oh, and you know the Actimel challenge? Drink those little yoghurts for two weeks, and you'll be splashing in puddles, and going round the park on roller blades? Lies. I have continued to avoid puddles, and remain dubious about the delights of roller blades.

I can thus conclusively tell you that eating stuff in moderation, and cutting back on the junk, has brought me nothing other than:

- Misery
- Exhaustion
- Occasional diarrhoea

Great.

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